called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
