Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
