Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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