do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
