We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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