Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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