weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
