Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
