no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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