Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
