I'm jealous of your bromance
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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