I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
