I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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