He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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