Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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