if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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