I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
