wakey wakey hands off snakey
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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