It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
