Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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