at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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