i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
