Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize