If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
