went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
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I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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