hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
