I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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