i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize