Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My room smells like vodka and shame
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize