I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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