? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
