I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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