My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize