i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
