even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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