For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize