guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think my moral compass just broke
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize