Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
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this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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