Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
