Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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