My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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