Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
