broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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