Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
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I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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