Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
