Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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