I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
