First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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