pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
