i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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