It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
