That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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