i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You can't motorboat a personality
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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