Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize