Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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