I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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