i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
