Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
