Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
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Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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