Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
