DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
