If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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