Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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